Meanwhile, In the British Isles
by ImOnATram
Summary: Wales and the Irelands never really liked England and Scotlands fighting, so when Wales hatches a plan to stop it all, things start to look up, or so they plan.
1. Loafers and a Light Switch

**Meanwhile, In the British Isles**

Episode 1: "Lady-Like"

pt. 1

She walked down the dark hall. "Where the heck is the light switch?" she fumed as she tripped over her own feet, a stream of cusswords coming out.

_Click _

"Looking for this?" A pair of pristine loafers said. The annoyed red head looked up. "Yes" she said as her eyes adjusted.

"I could have found it myself" the girl said while she got a better look at the man in loafers. England.

"Honestly, Scotland, you can be so clumsy. Even when you have light! You should really try to be more graceful. And stop cussing, be more lady-like." England said with a smirk.

"At least I was born a lady instead of trying to be one!" Scotland shot back. England's face grew red with anger. "FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME I'M STRAIGHT!" Scotland couldn't help but smile, she could see she hit bull's-eye. Then the yelling began, back and forth, louder and louder.

"OI! What's all this?" said the resident Welshman. He had blond hair that was a few inches short of shoulder length, green eyes and big bushy eyebrows like his little brother. "Oh nothing, England's just being a _pig _as usual." The Scot said coolly.

"Me? A pig? I'll have you know that I am a gentleman, not a pig!"

"Well, you certainly act like one!"

Wales rolled his eyes and went downstairs into the living room.

Two lumps where sprawled out on the couch. The living room was rather large and was composed of a brown leather couch with two, twin wing chairs on either side, all centered around a coffee table. Next to the front door was a coat rack and an umbrella holder with one untouched umbrella. Next to that was an antique grandfather clock that read 12:00, midnight.

Wales walked over to one of the winged chairs and let out a tired sigh. "Those two are at it again?" said one of the lumps. He had shaggy, shoulder length hair as red as his sister's, with green eyes to match, and freckles. His twin brother had few differences. His hair was dyed brownish-red and was not shaggy, but slightly wavy and down to his earlobes. He was also an inch shorter. These were the Irelands. The latter being North Ireland or North for short.

"Yup." replied Wales. North took a swig of the rum he _borrowed _from England's fridge. "Lots have changed." Began North "Did you know, I hated Iggy's rum the first time I tried it. I got used to it, so it wasn't as bad. But their relationship, not much of a change, just political peace."

"North" said Ireland, "I think that is the deepest thing I've heard you say… You'll have to lose some brain cells for that." The nuggy commenced.

_It hasn't changed much has it? _Wales thought.


	2. LadyLike

Meanwhile, In the British Isles

Episode 1 "Lady-Like"

pt. 2

Scotland flopped out of bed, her hair resembling Mrs. Lovett's, without the pigtails. She was in a zombie-like state of shear tiredness. She got dressed, brushed her red, mid-back long hair, and went down stairs for breakfast, a truly dangerous move in this house.

She was welcomed by tea, bangers and mash and crumpets. Everyone was pouring over the football scores in the newspaper and ranting, of course, and didn't seen to notice the Scot come in. "Good breakfast" she said "Who made it?" England looked up. "Me" he said, "Believe it or not I can cook"

"You? In that case, I hate it." She concluded as she continued to eat. England rolled his eyes.

It had always been this way. Back and forth, never ending, one comment after another. England would try to hold class over her, while she held what ever he does drunk over him. No one really interfered, it just seemed normal. At times it bugged the others, so they butted in, only to be butted out.

Scotland absolutely slaughtered her breakfast, just the carnage its self was enough to add another bullet to England's ammunition. "Are you even chewing?" he said. "I dunno, it's your food, is it possible?" she replied between bites. England narrowed his eyes and the argument over who's food was better commenced. Wales rolled his eyes at the scene. England and Scotland ranted, back and forth, while the Irelands chatted about music. After the battle, Scotland stormed off, as did England, to parts of the house unknown. The Irelands stopped prattling.

"Anything, they'll argue about anything, won't they?" asked Wales, rhetorically, of course.

"Pretty much." answered North

"Yeah, what's with that? They don't stop." spoke up Ireland

"They're like two different worlds. It didn't help when Scottie dated France. I thought Iggy would burst into flames!"

"That's what I was hoping for!" said Ireland as he and his brother started laughing.

Wales chuckled for a second, then the table grew quiet, again.

"Do you think that they'll ever stop?" questioned North.

"Nope." answered his brother, as he lit a cigarette.

"Unless…" Wales said, trailing off.

"Wales, what are you thinking?" North said, with a bit of hesitation in his voice,

"Well, you know, I was just thinking… You know how I said that they're like two different worlds?" the others nodded. "Well, maybe if we make them compromise."

At this the Irelands burst into fits of laughter.

"No, really, it could work. I know they're night and day, but things could change, _they_ could change!"

"They'll never change!" exclaimed North

"Wales, you know they're as stubborn as mules!"

"Hear me out now. The way I see it, England used to think that Scotland was a barbarian, but times have changed and now he thinks she's brash and tomboyish, which would be fine except for the fact that she uses it against him. Scotland thinks he's a prick, a poof, and generally an asshole. We have to get them so switch!"

"Oh! I see what you're saying!" said North.

"Run it by me one more time." said Ireland as he knit his brows.

"We're gonna make old Eyebrows manly and Scottie more… What's the word?"

"Lady-like." said Wales.

"Right, we're going to make her more lady-like!"


	3. The United Nations

**Authors note: **Rocky beginning is rocky, yes. That's all.

**WARNING: **England pulls a "Ginger" reference, please don't kill me!

Meanwhile, In the British Isles

**Episode 1 "Lady-Like"**

**Pt. 3**

The next day was a UN meeting. All of the UN was present, except for What's-His-Face. The countries all took their seats and got settled. Russia seemed to be almost levitating in his seat, as if he were in someone's lap. This caused England to begin to flip through a book of spells, which perked France's interest.

"Angleterre, what are you doing?"

"Mind your own business, frog"

France looked at the red head, next to England.

"It's a book of spells, France." Scotland said.

"Now why would you need that?"

"I said, mind your own business, and that goes for you too, ginger." England said with a snicker.

"Ginger?" Scotland half shouted, "What if I turned your hair red as a rose?"

England chuckled, "Not happening, I've seen you do magic, and let me say this, you've got the domestic stuff down, but outside of the house, you're spells are worthless."

Scotland's face turned bright red, as if to mimic her hair.

"Speak for yourself, Angleterre; at least she can cook with that magic. As for you, I doubt that you can even manage cereal!"

England finally gave up looking for a spell and put down his book.

"I am an _amazing_ cook! Besides, cooking is mainly something that women do best, that's why you're so good at it, frog."

"Excuse me!" Scotland said, "Are you saying that women belong in the kitchen or something? Or did I just take that the wrong way?"

"Well, _you_ don't. I mean, think about it; haggis for example. That stuff is gross!"

"Hey! Some of her best recipes come from me!" said France. "Like, her gigot, your lamb leg, is my _étuvé_."

"Oh, I believe you; I hate every food that you two concoct."

It was then that the meeting was called to order, ending the trio's argument.

"Alright, about global warming-" America began.

The blond began to talk about giant heroes, and how he redesigned it to have rocket boots, so it can move to whatever spot they wanted, easily.

"America, you dolt, that's impractical and downright stupid." England said, interrupting.

"I think what my brother is trying to say is that… well… yeah, that is pretty dumb. Nice thought though." Wales interjected.

The American wasn't hindered though, "What's so dumb about it?"

"Well, firstly, it's not dumb, it's stupid, and secondly, it's stupid." answered England

"What do you think?" America said, talking to the British Isles, considering most other countries don't like arguing with countries like England.

"Well, it is a bit farfetched." Said North Ireland

"Yeah, but the idea sounds nice…" said Scotland, trailing off as she saw Americas face fall. "We just don't have the ability to make that kind of thing."

"I bet big Irish hands could make that." muttered Ireland.

England sighed, "Oh here we go…"

"What I'm just saying. Isn't that right North? We could build something big like that. The problem is that… thing… is sort of stupid…"

"So it is possible?" America said, a big grin spreading on his face.

"No." answered Ireland.

"But, you just said-"

"I know what I said!"

"But-"

A fairly tall and flustered looking German shot up from his seat, "You may all settle you ideas of the possible anywhere but here, we are to be settling the problems of the world here, not whether or not an Irishman could build a giant hero!"

The argument quieted down and Germany began to present his idea for fuel efficient cars.

At the end of the meeting the countries trickled out, talking about affairs, of the political kind, and affairs of the not so political kind. Eventually, after a long debate about French cuisine versus English, England and Wales left to join the rest of the Isles is the hallway, to talk about lunch.

As the group prattled on about finding the nearest pub, they came across a micro nation sitting on a comfy looking chair, drinking a pop.

"Sealand?" England exclaimed.

"Sealand!" Wales said, greeting his youngest brother.

"Hey guys! England…" Sealand said.

"What brings you here? Still working on that whole nation thing?" asked Scotland with a smile.

"Yup, not many people say hi though when I say hi…"

"Well, that's just because they don't know you yet! They will," Wales said, "maybe." he added quietly.

England just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Wales loved his brothers, but they seemed to hate each other. He knew though that England loved Sealand. He just showed it a bit differently, that was all. The Irelands found Sealand amusing, considering he was stubborn and persistent, like them. Scotland, being the softy she was these days, would back him up and visit him, whenever he was with the Nordics. Mainly because she was friends with Norway, especially after Margret of Norway became her boss, back in the day. But none of this mattered, Sealands name for England was Jerk England and England sometimes calls Sealand the Brat. Wales generally gave up hope for to two when England auctioned off Sealand while he was watching him.

"So, where's Sweden?" England asked.

"I'm not sure, I was waiting for him, but I'm thinking about leaving, and getting some grub." Sealand answered, as if he was trying to prove something.

"Oh? Is that so?"

"Yup!"

"Well," began Wales, "We were just about to get some food ourselves. Care to join us?"

Sealand squirmed, at little, in his seat, debating the pros and cons. On one hand, he could prove that he was a nation, _and_ an adult, all in one shot! On the other hand, Sweden told him not to run off, and he might get out the England-box, again.

"Yeah know what? I think I'm going to stay here."

"Okay then." England said with a smirk.

"Call us." Wales said, making a phone with his hand. The others giggled a little at his joking tone as they walked off.

"Wait!" Sealand said, after a moment, jogging up to them, "I changed my mind."

The Isles looked between each other, they thought for sure that he wouldn't go, Sweden would be mad, and his 'neutral' face is scary enough.

"That might not be a good idea…" Scotland said, breaking the nervous silence.

"But they said that I could come!" he gestured to his brothers, now dodging looks from the three red-heads.

"Well, maybe we could find Sweden and tell him first." suggested North.

The group brightened up at his idea.

"Yeah, or we could call him." Ireland said with a snicker.


	4. Pub Fight

Author's note: This is more or less a filler chapter

Meanwhile, In the British Isles

**Episode 1 "Lady-Like"**

**Pt. 4**

Sealand and the Isles walked into the nearest pub and took a seat at the bar among soccer fans and people who just wanted some food. The older countries placed their orders, which generally consisted of whatever food originated from them and some form of alcohol.

"Peter, what are you gonna get?" asked England, making sure not to use his country name in public, because that would cause some confusion.

"Um, fish and chips and a soda." He answered.

England snickered, "English food?" he said, in mock disbelief. "Are there any Sealandish dishes you prefer?" he said, laughing.

"Iggy, that's mean, he's just settling, right Peter?" Wales said, backing up on the younger of his brothers.

"That's right; I'm just settling you jerk!"

The group erupted with laughter, including England.

"Peter, if you're going to hang out with us, then you'll have to like fish and chips, even if you are just settling." Scotland said.

"She's right you know, it's the only thing old eyebrows can cook." Ireland chuckled.

"I'll have you know I'm an amazing cook. Girls like guys who can cook, thus I cook a lot."

"And that's why you haven't had a shag in a long time." Scotland said.

The Isles, Sealand included, couldn't help but laugh at that, the fact that it came from a girl, and Scotland no less, made it even better. The only person who wasn't laughing was the red faced Englishman who was suddenly very determined to finish his rum.

As the laughter turned into quiet chuckles, England spoke up from his near empty mug, "At least I've been laid."

Scotland blushed hard. "Aw, England, that was rude." North Ireland said.

"Well, excuse me." He muttered as he ordered more rum.

"I'm just waiting."

England chuckled and shook his head, Scotland continued to blush.

"Can we talk about something else?" Sealand awkwardly said.

The conversation soon turned to the meeting, then to soccer, then to fellow countries.

"You know, France had a good point at the meeting," started Scotland, "Why on Earth would you need a spell book at a UN meeting?"

England choked a little on his rum, "I uh, it's just some light reading is all."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really, if you haven't noticed those meetings can be very boring, sitting between you and your frog prince doesn't help in the slightest."

Scotland blushed hard. She and France had dated when one of her monarchs, Mary Queen of Scots, married the future King of France, Francis II of France. They kept dating, even after Francis II died at 16. Whenever France was fighting England, Scotland would fight England as well. The two of them always stuck together, even when Scotland and England went through a state of political marriage. When it comes to countries, this is when two countries form one country, in this case the United Kingdom, but can date and get married to other people, like friends with benefits, but more formal.

"I've told you a million times-"

"Yeah, I know. 'We broke up' 'It's complicated.' 'Mind your own business you prat'" he said, mimicking her voice.

"But it _isn't_ any of your business!"

"It is when you two gang up on me!"

"You're a grown man, you can defend yourself! It's not like we even hurt you!"

"Well, you know what?" England took a swig of rum; no one seemed to notice that he had drank enough to drown a small dog.

"What?" Scotland fired back, she voice slightly raised.

The fight went from playful to flat-out nasty in minutes. The bar-keep kicked them out, but you could still hear them outside, although the sound was rather muffled, you could tell they weren't happy. Both of their faces had gone pink and Scotland looked like she was about to slug him. Luckily though, North had gone out to try to play peacemaker. His tries weren't in vain, they did tone it down, and the pink began to fade, but they still both looked angry.


	5. The Idea

Meanwhile, In the British Isles

**Episode 1 "Lady-Like"**

**Pt. 5**

The five had left for home as soon as the two bickering states attracted attention. Sealand was picked up by Sweden and Finland, who were muttering about changing plans. They entered the house, England and Scotland heading for separate bathrooms to clean up their wounds. Wales followed England, North followed Scotland and Ireland went to the living room.

"I swear we can't take her anywhere. If you say one thing-!"

"No, _you_ if _you_ say one thing." Wales said, pointing to England, now examining his bloody lip.

"What?"

"It's always you. You and her start this, no one else."

"Yes, well, regardless, she is an utter brute! Look at my lip! Do you think a delicate woman did that?! No! A flaming Scot did!"

Wales took a step closer looking at the bloody, slightly swollen lip. _Her punches have improved_ he thought.

"Well, maybe if you manned up a bit, you know. " Wales advised, "And I don't mean to use against her phy-"

"I can't hit her, technically she's a woman."

"Was I done talking? Look, it would be a show."

"I don't follow."

Wales sighed and took a breath "If you were to seem tougher, like she wouldn't want to fight you, that she _shouldn't _fight you, she wouldn't. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

"Yes but, even if I seem tougher, as if I would easily win a fight, are you sure it wouldn't still fight me?"

"She's rough, not stupid."

"He is such a prick!" she exclaimed discovering a scrape on her elbow from the fall.

North nodded understandingly , wondering where he should jump in.

"Every time we go somewhere, he starts something. God, look at this." She displayed she particularly nasty scrape, making it out to be amputation worthy.

"You start it too."

"Whatever, either way, he's no saint."

"Well you're no lady."

"What?" She half turned as she bandaged her wound.

"You're no lady." He stated with more conviction.

"How so?"

"You're always rambling about the place. If you're not yelling at England, you're throwing punches, or chairs."

Scotland half smiled at that, remembering a great fight, one of the few bar fights where she was on England's side.

"And is this a problem?"

"Well, yes."

"Keep going, I'm interested." She sat on the side of the tub as North explained, from the toilet seat mind you, that maybe if she were more reserved and less hostile, things might go smoother for her.

"You don't know the first thing about being a lady."

"Well, neither do you." He retorted.

Her eyebrow cocked, sarcasm oozing, "We'll learn together."


	6. Mildly Uncomfortable

Meanwhile, In the British Isles

**Episode 1: Lady-Like**

**Pt. 6**

Breakfast was always interesting, but considering the Irelands and Wales were down first it bordered on strange. Someone might think they were plotting the way they were talking.

"So he's not gonna take her anymore?" North asked Wales who was examining the expiration date on a box of cereal.

"No sir. Of course I have no idea what he'll do."

"Scotland… oh gosh, and she's going for, what is it? Dainty?"

"Well, think about it," Ireland began, "Dainty isn't very _in_ these days but if you shoot for the moon you'll at least hit the stars. She'll surprise us, I don't doubt it."

"This is gonna be good. I can't wait to see this." North chuckled.

At that moment Wales put down the box of five month old cereal and looked at the redheads. "Wait." The two looked at each other confused at Wales' suddenly serious tone. "You didn't see them when they were first married did you?"

Ireland shrugged, "We kept our distance but I hear there was a dagger involved in the honeymoon." North made a face and shook his head.

"They were crazy, back then they were very different. England was harder, I think, and more controlling. Mari was desperate and would go with it until you would blink and _bam_, she had a knife to your throat."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm saying they fit what we suggested to them to an extent. That being said they were still themselves; England with his duties and honor, Scotland with her roughness and restlessness. We might have done something very wrong."

"No way." Ireland interjected rolling his eyes, "I remember them being like that, I'm not saying you're lying, but they would never revert like that, if that is what you're saying."

"Morning." Mari said gliding into the kitchen, still the last one to arrive. "Do we have any cereal?"

"It expired." Wales answered mourning over his loss with eggs.

"That's fine." She poured herself some tea and sat at the table, just as England entered. "Could you pass me the sugar?"

"Yeah." North handed her the sugar bowl and they set to eating. Now don't get the wrong idea, this isn't the surprising change I'm sure you're looking for. She's rough, not a barbarian.

"America is having a party tonight." England said, breaking the silence as _pass me this_ and _how did you sleep_ don't count as real conversation.

"Oh?" Wales replied. "And when were we gonna hear about this?"

"I would have told you last night, he told me before the meeting, but we had an incident." England shot Scotland a look which was met with the most innocent look that he was forced to look at his plate.

"Well," Scotland said, "that's fine. Who's going?" Ireland nearly choked on his food. England practically set her up for that and she brushed it off. England furrowed his eyebrows for a moment.

"Everyone I think."

"Oh, is it formal, cocktail, what?"

"I- I don't know." The sheer civility of the conversation was strange. To the untrained eye Mari was calm and unassuming but if you had been to the diners around the time of their marriage, you would recognize the little glint in her eye as she suppressed her amusement. Wales could have spotted it from a mile away, she could feel the discomfort and she was _wielding_ it. It took everything in his power to keep from laughing. How can he fend off her one liners if she doesn't use them? They should have thought this through more.


End file.
